The start of my 25th year.

A little vignette about some birthdays

Beetle reads. Art by me.

Tomorrow, I celebrate the start of my 25th year. My birthday is Nov. 12th. Always has been. But it has often worked out that I’ve attended some other event on the actual day of my birthday. Here’s a summary of my past few Nov. 12ths.

Age 20: Compete in a Black male scholarship pageant called Shades of Mahogany. Think it’s a waste of time. Lose money. Come in third.

Age 21: Few days prior: have a very flashy and well-attended party on an apartment rooftop. Day of: have an existential crisis at a bar alone and be sad. Try to charm my way into free birthday drink. Fail.

Age 22: Attend last-ever event with local social and political “elite.” Be annoyed. Plant seeds to later publically disavow the political path in future essay. Follow through.

Age 23: Attend virtual Afrofuturist conference. Be surrounded by cool Black thinkers who I enjoy. Make mental note to contrast it with previous year in some future story. Forget.

Age 24: Have nice dinner with people I care about. Aim to replicate in future years.

I will note my favorite birthday of those listed is the only one I’ve, until now, never considered publicly writing about. For both my 20th and 21st birthdays, I have nearly complete drafts stored away detailing the events of the respective days. I’ve yet to publish either; who knows if I will, but at some point, I fully intended for people to read every thought I had about those days. But the recent birthday – the one with the dinner – no story draft for it exists. 

I generally tend to have fewer words in my journal on days I enjoy. I’m not yet ready to draw a definitive conclusion as to why, but I don’t like analyzing my happiness as much as my sorrow. Perhaps analyzing my emotions causes them to leave me quicker, so I rather hold onto every moment of joy rather than think it to death. Or perhaps I just had the intuitive sense that an event called Shades of Mahogany makes for a better story than a dinner for five. 

Either way, here’s hoping you see very few words about the start of my 25th year. 

Thanks for reading. I’m still struggling to hit up my old schedule of a fully researched and plotted essay every two weeks. This little vignette is much more conversational. And while the next main essay is coming, I still wanted to put something out this week. I’m very open to feedback on the format. Thanks for your time. For now though, fair sailing,

Jade